Ps 37 and Mark 1

I sometimes wonder why Ps 37 hits me in the face over and over again. The first time a friend pointed me to the chapter all I could see was the evil ones and wished that God would smack em dead...even if they were co-workers on the mission field. (What was I thinking?) The next time was Linda Noyes during dicipleship. Of course when I brought up the "smack em" part she informed me that I had my eyes on the wrong part. ie: God will do the smackin, not me (not her words) and it would be in His time and His way. I needed to focus on what He was wanting to say to me besides I am a freter.

I'm still learning, just a different set of circumstances. So what would it look like to wrap my heart of faith, or faithlessness around these phrases and forget about the promises of distruction.

Don't fret, Trust in the Lord, You do good, Dwell in the land ie: abide with Me, aline your thoughts with what is true, delight yourselves, etc. Now about here I had a problem with "and he will give you the desires of your heart. My desire was still to kill them, make them feel my pain! Little by little I began to believe that God was for me and He was trust worthy and I made decisions to trust Him. Faith cures freting. I must not have had enough faith:) because again the fears rose up in my heart and I began to fret. This time it was thinking my kids would hate me, or hate God, if we didn't return to Venezuela for the 4th term. Venezuela was their home, they loved it there and at that time hated being in the US. Again Linda N. showed me something, this time from vs.8. "Do not fret, it only leads to evil" then asked me "do you want evil for your kids? of course not!

And now I fret about by health and chronic back pain (shame...why did I go to RN school?), $$$ (after 14 yrs in the jungle you'd think I'd know and remember that the God who provided wild pig meat or a loaf of bread is the same today) When will I trust quickly after fretting. I read this "true faith is actively obedient". Does that mean I just wrap my mushy brain around what is true and overcome?

From Mark 1. Not too many of us have a clear view of what this kind of "possessed man" but in the jungle we experiences a "crazed, (evil) spirit filled man run non- stop, shouting, slicing his machete through the air. His family would tie him down and he had strength to break even heavy ropes. He would run through the jungle, the village, the houses...until finally after 3-4 days and nights, he would fall in exhaustion. Then our co-worker who spoke the Yanomomi language would pray over him until the man's twisted face and body would relax. All was ok until the next time when evil wrapped its' claws around another mans' heart and mind.