Dedication

It's funny isnt it? How on fire for Christ we can feel and then just have the world run away with us... Well that has happened to me and it seems to have happened here (which is OK!!!) I have been reading multiple readings a day to get caught up and it feels great to get back into the bible. It is unbelievable how inspiring and refreshing moving through the word is for the soul. One minute you feel trapped and the next minute you are reading the answer to your problem written centuries ago...that is not a coincidence. The Lord has called upon us to be the Church and not church in yeah i will see you sunday and ask how you week was sense of the word. Jesus has given us an intimate relationship with fellow believers. This thing we call church does not begin and end between 9am-11am sunday mornings. This is what we live...we are the church we get to choose when we do something about it. When Jesus was choosing his disciples he did not go and search for the most experienced men in the world. He did not look for teachers and rabbis. Jesus chose those who would be dedicated, not experienced. Peter and Andrew were just kids somewhere between upper teens and lower twenties...my age. Peter was 100% dedicated to Jesus. So dedicated in fact that he just did everything as passionate as he could. In Matthew 16:21-24 Peter says that Jesus could never be killled and Jesus says, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." 14:27-32 Jesus walks on the water towards the disciples on the boat and Peter says "Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water." Matthew 16:17-19 Jesus tells Peter that he will be the rock that the church is built upon and that hades will not overcome it. I am so moved by Peter's story. I wish i could fail as well as he could...you know? All the stuff that he did wrong, the risks he took because of how passionate he was. We do not have to be experienced or wise or the best at praying out-loud or even consistent in our online writings, all that is asked of us is that we try with everything we have, the good and the bad. It is through our struggles that our faith is strengthened and in those moments dedication is all we have to carry us through. So, read....post who cares if you are caught up. Share what is on your heart, share what troubles you, ask questions, share your passion for the Lord and we will walk with you down this intimate path learning together about the one who forged the way for us. And through our passionate struggles and beautiful victories we can have the church built on us, everyday...

Psalm 89

I think it's fascinating that Psalm 88 which is full of despair and pain and searching for God is followed by a Psalm that sings His praises!! The last line of Psalm 88 says: "You made lover and neighbor alike dump me; the only friend I have left is Darkness." (Msg). The first line of Psalm 89 says: "Your love O God is my song, and I'll sing it! I'm forever telling everyone how faithful you are." Not so long ago I would have been totally confused by the stark contrast of these lines, but in the last few months I've begun to understand this a bit more. I used to be afraid of this aspect of God - the one that was so unpredictable, the one that could create such mixed feelings within me. If my life was going well I wouldn't allow myself to enjoy it - I was always waiting for the "other shoe to drop" (as my Grandma used to say) - all because I was afraid of the the unpredictable nature of God. I wouldn't let myself feel "good" because I didn't want to feel "bad". By doing so I was denying the essence of who I am - a human being created by God to experience all He has for me, the good and the bad. So I'm working on it. When the bad times come (and they do) I'm trying to feel the pain of my brokenness and bring it before God, much as the Psalmist did in Psalm 88. And when the good times are here I'm trying to enter into them and enjoy them, bringing my joy before Him just as I did my brokenness. It's not easy. I've a lifetime of habits to change, but it's worth it. I'm learning to embrace the tears and pain just as much as the laughter!!

I'm standing my ground

What desperation there is in this Psalm! What pain, anger, betrayal and abandonment the Psalmist conveys! And it's all directed at God! What courage it takes to do that - to be gut level honest with God about how you feel toward Him in your darkest hours. Yet even in the midst of his pain, the Psalmist declares, "I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help" (vs 13 Msg). As hurt and angry as he is - even though God is silent and the Psalmist feels abandoned - his faith is strong! He plants his feet and says "I'm here! Even though I can't see or hear you, I know You're here, too. I'm not moving. I'll stand here in my pain as long as it takes." I believe this is the essence of Grace Groups - allowing ourselves to feel the deepest, darkest pain imaginable, knowing that even though it seems we are alone our God is with us. I believe that even though He knows that we are hurting, He wants us to express that pain to Him, much as the Psalmist did. We cry out, we howl, we moan, we writhe in our pain and when we are exhausted from crying He's there and we realize He was holding us and crying with us and loving us. (A side note - Psalm 89 begins "You're love, God, is my song and I'll sing it").

Nothing is the same...

I wanted to respond to Sussy's question...I guess instead of reading I decided I'd watch The Passion again. Part of it was still so vivid in my mind from watching it last year and yet part of me was drawn to watching it all again so I never forget...parts I couldn't watch, parts encouraged me. Remember at times when He was teaching He'd talk about loving our enemies, with His dicisples He would tell them that if they/we loved Him that those who hated Him will also hate us. While carrying the cross in a passage way He fell and His mother ran to Him (remembering when He was small), He said to her something like "I make all things new". In everything Jesus went through NONE of it was deserved...I really can't understand God loving any of us enough to put His Son through all He suffered. It makes no sense...neither does forgiving our enemies, or those who do evil and need to be brought to justice...but then NOTHING I watched in The Passion makes any sense to me either...all things will be new, different. What does He mean? Different? Different from how and what I think should be done? None of us, the righteous, the religious, the evil, the sinners, the saved...none of us deserve His forgiveness. After watching and seeing all the blood that was shed through out His suffering, I am humbled just thinking that my sins (the sins of the world) are washed away in His shed blood. For some reason, I'm finding it easier to admit that NOTHING in my walk with Christ, nothing going on in this world makes sense. It is almost certain that if I think something should be done a certain way...like giving justice out to those who deserve it, rejoiceing when the evil get punished..I can almost bank on it...Everything will be different, ie. NOT my way but His. He will judge and He will forgive whom He choses...I don't get His thinking, or understand His heart...It just seems so often to be just the opposite of my heart. Someday, all things will be new...and exactly as He desires them to be. "All thing will be new" and they will make sense to us then...just not yet.

Fat Cats

I am so stoked! My Bible Psalm 72:7 says,"These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for!" The psalmist is describing envying the proud and wicked--living a life of ease and plenty. Then realizing how senseless that is--that we are in his right hand, guiding us, leading us to a glorious destiny. Awesome.

I was wondering...Proverbs 24:17-18 says, "Don't rejoice when your enemies fall; don't be happy when they stumble. For the Lord will be displeased with you and will turn his anger away from them." Is this different from the many psalms that pray for enemies to fall? Is that praying for justice--not delighting in the downfall of the wicked? In my mind, I thought that they were the same...but I'm not thinking so much now.

the evil spirit knew what I sometimes doubt

Luke 4:31-36
I was challenged by what the evil spirit shouted..."Ha! What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth,....I know who you are--the Holy One of God." There are days I'm not AMAZED with His teaching. I struggle with His authority, His timing, even His gentleness that cast out the demons that threw the man down (I'm sure the evil spirits would have wanted to destroy the man) but "they" came out without injuring him. That had to be God's authority over evil.

So...in the space of three verses I'm questioning; His authority, Who He is, His care for people, His gentleness, His power. As His child I struggle with these things...the Who He is things. I'm humbled by an evil spirit who didn't second guess or question my Jesus but knew Who He was/is.

I want to say,"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! THE HOLY ONE OF GOD!! ...so I will trust You.

Strange ideas

Luke 6:35 "Love your enemies. Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are thankful and wicked."

Whoa. Hold the boat. This is insane. I can understand forgiving your enemy, blessing your enemy, praying for your enemy and showing kindness to your enemy. I don't love it, but I understand Jesus' point. I don't understand just lending to them. That seems crazy. I don't consider money to be one of my big idols--maybe it is. Seems like you're putting yourself out there to get hosed. Is that language to strong for this blog? Sorry ! Maybe I'm really locked into my kingdom more than His.

On a lighter note, during this blustery day, Gracie and I were watching the trees blow in the wind. She giggled and said, "Those trees are dancing!"

the naked man...

I've been thinking about why the 2 verses about the man wrapped in linen who ran away naked were all about. I wonder if those two verses were a story for us...translation by Linda

Often when you are a young wanna be, you join my ranks and hang around with us...(Me and some of the brothern)kind of trying to follow Me. You think you are in a good way with me...after all you are all covered up...clothed with linen. But for some reason... unless you are REALLY mine...when things get tough, you, will run away naked. Apart from Me...you really are naked. Maybe then, you will finally understand that really, to be clothed, you must be washed clean by the blood which I will shed for you. It's called being "clothed" in My Righteousness. Only then will you really be "covered". Remember the covering of yourself in linen will never help...apart from Me....you're still just stark naked.

Gethsemane

I have been wanting to...or at least I thought I wanted to watch the Passion again while I was home alone so I could weep uncontrollably...but so far I haven't been able to do that...the pictures from last time are still too vivid. But there is something so powerful about this part of the Gospel story I want to remember it all. Gethsemane has been my favorite Bible story for a long time. Maybe because I tend to wrestle with God over so much of my life and here I find Jesus wrestling too. He does understand my pleadings...both of them do. God and Jesus. I can't really believe that God was having an easy time watching Jesus struggle with the fear and pain that was to come. I imagine God's Father heart was breaking too. How could He even ask His Son to walk through something as horrible as the Cross and all the suffering He would endure even before He was put on the Cross? I don't get it at all. Was/is our sin more revolting and horrible to God than watching His only Son suffer and die? Was it all about God's love for us that apparently is greater than His love for His Son! Can there be any beauty that comes from Gethsemane's pain and sorrow? I think the beauty may only come when we take communion together... taking the broken bread and the crushed grapes as we remember all that both God Himself and Jesus suffered. At this time we are taking communion alone...He is continuing to wait for us to join Him until the day we take it together in the New Kingdom. Then we will understand how deeply God loves us, how precious the sacrificed Lamb is and our own wrestling, our own Gethsemane's will fade away.....in worship and understanding.

Does anyone know why Mark 14:51-52 are in this chapter and what, if any meaning there is for us?

It's good to be back...

It seems like it's been a long time since I've added to the Blog. I hit a place where I was overwhelmed and tired all the time. It was easier to lose myself in computer games or Facebook or TV than to keep up with the daily readings. As a result, I missed most of the Gospel of Mark. This morning I woke up early to work on some other things and had time before getting ready for work so decided to read today's Scripture. I think its significant that today's reading starts with Luke 1 and is about Zechariah's disbelief at Gabriel's news. I realized that I do that every day with the choices I make. Any time I chose to believe the enemy's lies over God's truth I'm no different that Zechariah. And each time I choose to play a game or veg out over reading the Bible I'm making it easier for the enemy to lie to me. In fact, if it weren't for the Blog and the accountability it brings, it would be extremely easy for me to not continue this journey through the New Testament. I'm grateful for that accountability.

it's a Grace Group thing

I find Mark's account of the events surrounding the death of Jesus so disturbing. Perhaps it's a Grace Group thing, but as I read it I am stunned at the apparent unstoppable wave of injustice that permeates pretty much every verse. I'm unnerved by the glaring absence of logic, reason, sanity. It seems no one is listening to anyone. There is just a vindictive agenda spewing forth from angry, fearful, religious people. It turns my stomach. And then....somehow, when Jesus cried out with a loud voice and breathed his last -- the apparent victory of injustice-- the Roman soldier who had witnessed all of this and was standing there at the foot of the cross said, "This has to be the Son of God!"  Huh?? 

 Most people --including the disciples -- weren't convinced about Jesus being the Messiah until He appeared to them after his resurrection. But this soldier who watched Jesus face horrific physical, verbal, and emotional abuse; watched him decline to defend himself, refuse to lash out in anger, saw something far exceeding human explanation. He didn't see someone who had just lost the battle against his enemies, his abusers. He saw one who had fought the battle againse injustice and WON!

 This is the epitome of Romans 12:21, "Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good." Makes me think I have soooo very much to learn about the power of God's love.

The fig tree.

Gee, another agricultural item...

In the reading this morning, Jesus goes over to a fig tree expecting breakfast, but only finds leaves, no figs. He curses the fig tree, saying it will never bear fruit again. The next day when He and the disciples pass the tree, it has withered up and died. I've always thought this was a little bit of a strong reaction to not getting breakfast, especially when it says that "it was not yet the season for figs".

In reading the passage in The Voice it gives an explanation for the reaction. This was the only time that Jesus used His power for destruction, rather than good. The passage says the fig tree "was in full leaf", which normally doesn't occur until after fruit has been set. Therefore, the tree was barren. It had produced only leaves, ahead of its time, but would produce no fruit.

The commentary states that this represented the people who, on the outside, showed themselves to be religious, but on the inside were bearing no fruit at all. The reason the fig tree was destroyed was as a warning to the religious leaders of the day.

Food for thought...

Ps.44

"You are my King and my God...and we will praise your name forever"...But now...v.9 you have rejected us, humbled us, given us defeat, plundered, devoured, and scattered us. Sold your people for pittance...gaining nothing. We are a reproach, are scorned, a derision( anyone know what that means?) Our name was but a byword, all we know is disgrace and shame etc, etc........

"All this happened to us, though we had not forgotten you or been false to your covenant." What's with this?? "We are crushed, in deep darkness, Yet for your sake we face death all day, we're like terrified sheep, heading for the slaughter."

Translation by LM...God, do you even see or care? I have faithfully followed your ways for so many years. Always trusted you. I never turned back or strayed from You but now, You turn your back away from me when I'm crying my heart out? Why punish me by hiding your face. Why are You silent when I most need You? UUUhoo...do You see me in my misery and oppression? Ok, I'm down!! I can't sink any deeper than the ground. I'm covered in dirt and dust. What more? I don't understand yet....

v.26 "Rise up and help us; redeem us because of your unfailing love."

WOW!! So much for the prosperity gospel!??

Mark 8: 2-3

I cheat. I can't stand to be behind but my options are quit or cheat and catch up. So after a long, long year and 1/2 last night I read the first phrase of Mark 8:2 and tears ran down my face! Yeah!! My heart's not dead!
"I have compassion for these people" (me). "Thay have been here with nothing to eat"... like me. I have been empty, dry, famished. I have collapsed on the way, this journey of walking with Jesus here on earth.
"Because some of them have come a long distance." My journey with Christ feels like I have come a long way and I wasn't going to finish strong. But God knows all about me, my struggles, my pain (physically, etc) but He has compassion for me...and you. Compassion from Webster's means "active, sym-pathetic concern for the suffering of another". His compassion was/is so great for us that He embraced the suffering of the Cross for us. Kind of puts my "suffering" into perspective...although I'm not rejoicing yet.

I am Mother, hear me roar!

Mark 7:24-30 I love this Gentile woman! She reminds me how powerful a mother's intervention can be. She stood up to Jesus and said, "Look, I know you've got a lot going on. I know there are others who may be more deserving. But this is MY child whom I love and I want you to heal her - make her well!" And Christ honored her faith and her love for her daughter. He was impressed by her argument that even dogs deserve the crumbs and if that was all he had to give, well, she'd take it. Being Christ, he didn't give her crumbs - he gave her the "good stuff" and healed her daughter.
What faith this woman had! This story will strengthen my prayers for my children. I can feel the Mama Bear rising up in me already....

Mark 5 & 6 and faith

2 things...i had never noticed the woman who suffered from bleeding..when she touched his robe, he felt the power go out of him. like the driving force for the miracle was her faith. and in chapter 6, when Jesus was rejected in Nazareth...because of their unbelief, he couldn't do miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them. wow. makes me wonder how many miracles i have missed out on, due to my unbelief.

Ps 37 and Mark 1

I sometimes wonder why Ps 37 hits me in the face over and over again. The first time a friend pointed me to the chapter all I could see was the evil ones and wished that God would smack em dead...even if they were co-workers on the mission field. (What was I thinking?) The next time was Linda Noyes during dicipleship. Of course when I brought up the "smack em" part she informed me that I had my eyes on the wrong part. ie: God will do the smackin, not me (not her words) and it would be in His time and His way. I needed to focus on what He was wanting to say to me besides I am a freter.

I'm still learning, just a different set of circumstances. So what would it look like to wrap my heart of faith, or faithlessness around these phrases and forget about the promises of distruction.

Don't fret, Trust in the Lord, You do good, Dwell in the land ie: abide with Me, aline your thoughts with what is true, delight yourselves, etc. Now about here I had a problem with "and he will give you the desires of your heart. My desire was still to kill them, make them feel my pain! Little by little I began to believe that God was for me and He was trust worthy and I made decisions to trust Him. Faith cures freting. I must not have had enough faith:) because again the fears rose up in my heart and I began to fret. This time it was thinking my kids would hate me, or hate God, if we didn't return to Venezuela for the 4th term. Venezuela was their home, they loved it there and at that time hated being in the US. Again Linda N. showed me something, this time from vs.8. "Do not fret, it only leads to evil" then asked me "do you want evil for your kids? of course not!

And now I fret about by health and chronic back pain (shame...why did I go to RN school?), $$$ (after 14 yrs in the jungle you'd think I'd know and remember that the God who provided wild pig meat or a loaf of bread is the same today) When will I trust quickly after fretting. I read this "true faith is actively obedient". Does that mean I just wrap my mushy brain around what is true and overcome?

From Mark 1. Not too many of us have a clear view of what this kind of "possessed man" but in the jungle we experiences a "crazed, (evil) spirit filled man run non- stop, shouting, slicing his machete through the air. His family would tie him down and he had strength to break even heavy ropes. He would run through the jungle, the village, the houses...until finally after 3-4 days and nights, he would fall in exhaustion. Then our co-worker who spoke the Yanomomi language would pray over him until the man's twisted face and body would relax. All was ok until the next time when evil wrapped its' claws around another mans' heart and mind.

Kingdom inheritance

I have been reading Psalm 37 about every other day for the last couple of weeks. I love it. Some friends at work have joined me and it is dead on accurate about some things we are going through. I love seeing that God fights for justice. Its okay to cry out to God about injustice and frustration. I don't have to pretend to be positive and love what is wicked. All I have to do is focus on Him. Nothing that God has for me can be touched. Not by evil. Not by a failing economy. I will possess the land. Maybe not in the kingdom. Maybe in the kingdom to come.
"The lowly will possess the land and will live in peace and prosperity." Psalm 37:11
I love it!! Haaaah!!

Seeds...

I've been waiting for this passage, since I wasn't "signed up" for the Matthew version. This is the official parable of seed salesmen. 8~)

I did some work on this parable in preparation for going to India 3 years ago, as we were encouraged to have a "message" ready in case we were called on to speak.

As I was researching, it struck me that my customers, current-day farmers, would never sow seed on paths, or on rocky areas, or in areas infested with weeds. Seed is too valuable to waste by placing it where it will not grow. In fact, with today's technology, seed is carefully placed in the optimum areas and planting depths to guarantee a good stand and a good return. It seemed wasteful to me to, in essence, throw valuable seed away.

As Jesus points out when he is explaining the parable, the seed is the Word of God. It is not purchased, it is freely given by God to be spread about by the sower. Where we tend to operate from a "scarcity" mindset, God operates from an "abundance" mindset. He wants it to be spread far and wide, without consideration of the type of soil it lands on. As sowers, it is our responsibility to follow that direction. It is not up to us to decide who to tell, just to spread the Word.

Just as present-day farmers have the responsibility to sow seed, there is really not that much they do after that which determines the crop they will harvest. Yes, they can fertilize, control weeds, and maybe irrigate the ground, but the plant will germinate, grow and produce based on what God created it to do (just the miracle of germination is another whole story). We can do things to encourage the people we "sow" with the Word, but it is God who will take what we do and make the changes in their lives.

Abundance vs. scarcity. Interesting concept.

Angry Jesus

Mark 3:5 Jesus was furious as He looked out over the crowd, and He was grieved by their hard hearts. How could anyone care so much about the words of the law and so little about the spirit of it? (The Voice)

What a great example of anger being used in a powerful and righteous way. We see Jesus long for his people to live larger, fuller lives. And we see his anger lead to grief over the enemy's ways, blinding their eyes to real life - eternal, abundant life.

Jesus rises up, finds his voice, and speaks on behalf of the broken. A man is healed - the enemy smashed. And anger has won the day!

God-Investors

Psalm 37:9 "Before long the crooks will be bankrupt; God-investors will soon own the store." (Msg)
God-investors - what a great word! It takes on special meaning in today's precarious financial times. People who invest in the stock market are putting their faith in companies run by man. The knowledge that they could lose money is always with them. Even if they research before investing, it's still kind of a guessing game. Many watch the markets daily, keeping an ever vigilant eye on the ups and downs of their investments. They know there is a element of risk involved - at any moment their stock could crash and they would be left with nothing.
God-investors put their faith in God. There's no guessing game involved - we have His Word to guide us and that Word hasn't changed in thousands of years. We, too, keep a vigilant eye - but ours is turned toward Heaven, waiting for the triumphant return of Christ. We know that we could lose "things" because of our faith, but that knowledge is tempered by the truth of who we are in Christ and His sacrifice for us. Even if we lose everything here on earth, what awaits us in Heaven is far more precious than gold or silver. And we, too, know it could all come crashing down at any time - not for us, but for Satan, who was defeated on the Cross.
Isn't it great to be a God-Investor?!!

Celebrate God's great work

Sometimes the Psalms confuse me. Psalm 35:8 (Msg) says "...catch them in the very trap they set..." That doesn't seem very Christian - Aren't we supposed to pray FOR our enemies?

Verse 10 made me stop and think "But let me run loose and free, celebrating God's great work, Every bone in my body laughing, singing, "God, there's no one like You." (Msg) I often pray that God would free me from some bondage, but it's usually for selfish reasons. David wants freedom so he can celebrate and praise God! What a wonderful reminder for me!

Close to the brokenhearted

Some of you might already know this--I have been wrestling with some issues. I have been fighting depression, wrestling with God, trying to piece out what is true about God, and myself. I feel like everything has become difficult. I have been doing a lot of talking and pouring my heart out to God. And He has spoken to me. As I was getting into the shower several days ago, I had a thought that hit me like a brick wall. The thought that, "Yes, this is worth it. All of this heartache to be this close to Almighty God." I was spinning. I have heard Christians say that they are grateful for the difficult times because that's when the growing happens. Man, that just made me roll my eyes...Yet, it is where true happiness and peace lie. There is truly nothing more fulfilling than being with God and knowing that you have heard from him. Most everything else seems like chasing after distractions.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
Psalm 34:18

God is listening...

Psalm 34:17,19-20 (Msg)
"God keeps an eye on his friends,
his ears pick up every moan and groan.
Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
ready to rescue you.
If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
Disciples so often get into trouble;
still, God is there every time.
He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone;
not even a finger gets broken."

I think that says it all.

I didn't do it...

Matthew 27:24 "...he took a basin of water and washed his hands in full sight of the crowd, saying 'I am washing my hands of responsibility for this man's death. From now on, it's in your hands. You're judge and jury.'" (Msg)
What a cop out! Pilate had several options here and he chose the path of least resistance because he was afraid the crowd might riot. He chose personal safety over doing what was right. It was the easy thing to do. Because of his public display of hand washing, if it all fell apart he could point his finger and say "It's not MY fault. You made me do it!"
How many times in my life have I don this? How many times have I said to myself "Why try? They're just going to do what they want anyway?" Today's reading will make me more aware of those times. I know down deep within me that each time I choose the path of least resistance I'm weakening my faith.
Lord, strengthen me today to hear Your voice and choose Your way.

You, what do You want?

Matthew 26:39 "...but, please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" (Msg)
Other versions of this verse usually say something like "not my will, but yours be done." When I read that, even though I know Jesus said it with a true heart, searching for God's will, my interpretation adds a desperate sigh followed by "You're probably going to do what You want anyway, so I may as well give in." Reading it in The Message gives me a new outlook. Jesus question "You, what do YOU want?" changes that desperation to a longing to be an obedient Son. It becomes an act of will - one that earnestly wants to know what God has for Him. I think this statement will change my prayer life...
Speaking of which...
vs 41 "Stay alert, be in prayer so you don't wander into temptation without even knowing you're in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there's another part that's as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire." (Msg)
Those words pierce me - show me how pathetic my prayer life is. My measley couple of minutes praying while showering each morning aren't going to cut it. For one thing, I never remember who to pray for. I want to pray but like that old dog by the fire, I'm lazy about being intentional about prayer. Lord, show me what You desire for my prayer life.
One last thing...intentional...isn't that a great word? I love it and hate it at the same time. It makes me responsible...hence, the love/hate relationship with it.
I pray you have a day filled with Jesus sightings!!

God, my God, I can't thank you enough!

I didn't get a chance to read yesterday (I hate it when that happens), so I caught up this morning. And as usual there was so much good stuff that I wrote a couple of pages in my journal, but I'll try to sum it up here.
Yesterday's readings were so much about God's Words and His power. Matthew 24:35 "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my Words will never disappear." NLT So comforting to me. When all else is gone, the Creator's Words still exist - and it was His Word that spoke everything into being.
Psalm 29 in the Message is all about God's "thunder", His voice. "...thunders across the water; brilliant...God's thunder tympanic, God's thunder symphonic." Mountain ranges skipping like colts, God's thunder spitting fire, trees dancing because of His thunder. And we cry "Glory! God makes His people strong. God gives His people strength." As I read the Psalm I was mesmerized by His power. The Psalmist uses such strong words, such beautiful words, I could feel the tympanic, symphonic resonance of them in my heart, as though it was beating in tandem with them. But I was frightened, too. It felt as though someone was shaking their finger at me saying, "This is what happens to people who displease God. All this power is directed at you, so watch it!" I felt as though I was being scolded. I felt a jolt of surprise then, when I got to the end "...we call out Glory!" Oh! I get it! My fear shouldn't be for me. It should come from respect for His power. It should come because "God makes His people strong; God gives His people peace". All of that power, all of that thunder He gives to us. What can harm me? Truly, nothing. Even perceptions of harm must be just that - perceptions. He will reveal the truth of that perception when the time is right.

Today's Psalm is a balm to my soul. I shout "You did it! You did it! You've turned my night of mourning into thanksgiving - for You, for Christ, for the Holy Spirit! For your Word, which brings me such comfort as it thunders across my conciousness. It turns hopelessness to strength; darkness to light; fear to courage. I'm beginning to get a glimpse of what Your Kindgom is about and my place in it. 'God my God, I can't thank you enough.' (Msg)".

I pray that God's thundering Word speaks to you today!

Matthew 22:34-40

Matthew 22: 34-40  The most important command…

When they talk the Pharisees meet together to question Jesus again they meet just for that reason.  They don’t meet to discuss religion; they meet to come up with a question that will stump Jesus.  How long did they meet before they came up with this question that is such a great trap?  How dare these hypocrites call Jesus “teacher” when they are just asking the question, “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” in order to try to confuse him. I think the message says it in words that strike true, “Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list.  But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”  Did you catch that?  Those should be number one and two on ANY LIST, and for us list writers out there we should see those more often.  Also, those two commandments are pegs, which we should hang more than our troubles upon.  How often have you found yourself turning to the Lord when you NEED something to hang onto?  I am as guilty as the next guy and that is not a bad thing but how would those pegs look if we hung EVERYTHING from them…the good, the bad, clean and dirty laundry…EVERYTHING.  Everything in God’s law and the Prophets hangs from them…what makes us too good?  Stubbornness?  Pride?  Being able to give everything to the Lord, to hang everything on those pegs, makes you stronger than trying to fight through something alone.  

Battle Cry

OK, Sherry, here goes...I'm behind on my reading, but there's still hope! For some reason, I love epic, battle movies where there's a fight for justice. When all hope seems gone, and the odds seem impossible. Scenes from Braveheart or Lord of the Rings--Two Towers. Good stuff. It comes alive in Psalm 27:3,13..."Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident...Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living." Sometimes the pressures and evil of this world are so heavy. And then to think about spiritual warfare on top of that, that's overwhelming. And quite frankly, it really makes me angry (insert swear word if this wasn't a church blog!) But, this gives me hope and I think that I can stand knowing that God is right here with me.

I trust Him...

Psalm 28:6-7 "Praise the Lord! For He has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." (NLT)
I have praised the Lord. I have cried out for mercy. I have trusted Him with all my heart. My heart has been filled with joy when He's helped me. I have burst out in songs of praise to Him. I recognize all these things - have done them all. But I realized this morning that I don't think I've ever done them all at the same time regarding one situation. You know what I mean? I think of all the times I've cried out for mercy, knowing that He hears. Sometimes I trust Him, but often I don't - which turns my cry for mercy into a complaint. Of course when He helps me I am filled with joy and respond with songs of thanksgiving and praise. But what about those times He seems silent? Is my heart filled with joy then, knowing that even in silence He is responding? Do I burst out in songs of joy, even when my heart feels as though it's being torn out of my body?
My brokenness makes me want to turn away when I think He's silent or when His help moves me in a direction I'd rather not go. I'm grateful for His Word, for the community of Christ-followers I get to walk with (that's YOU!)on this journey - they keep me grounded in truth instead of my brokenness. Because of that truth I feel the joy of knowing He's there even though I can't see Him, and that knowledge causes me to burst out in songs of thanksgiving and praise. It reminds me of His infinite mercy and grace and once again I trust Him.

Stay with God

Psalm 27:14 (Msg) "Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. Stay with God." It seems that no matter what I read in Scripture, it resonates throughout my soul. I feel God speaking to the depths of me, reaching those places that have been hidden in the dark for much too long. Some days I don't want to go there - "Just leave me alone today, God, I can't take anymore." But I know that's not what He desires. So I continue to read, trying to listen to His familiar voice, bringing light to all those dark places.

Matthew 21: 28-46

I really enjoy these two parables. They both just cut straight to the heart for me.

Matthew 21:28-32-
How often are we the son who says "Sure, glad to." But never goes? I feel like this all the time. I feel driven to pursue a life in the ministry and catch myself saying, "yes Lord!" and then thinking, "what would they think of me? What if my faith isn't strong enough." This is the reason i have had arguments, out loud straight forward arguments, with the Lord. I have flat out said, "I do not feel strong enough to be in your flock, let alone lead part of it." It often feels better to me to refuse and then be shown the light than to ignore the light all along.

Matthew 21: 33-46
When the wealthy landowner left planted his vineyard he turned it over to the farmhands. He wasn't forced to leave, they didn't take over the vineyard, he turned it over to them. He trusted them and saw them fit to run his farm until he returned. What happened between the time he left to the time when he sent his servants back to collect his profits? Where was this turn from trust worthy to corrupt? The servants were sent in the masters place and they suffered for him. They didn't turn away from the task when he gave it to him because they were loyal to their master, so loyal in fact that they were beaten, stoned and killed for him. Not only were his servants beaten and killed, but they were beaten and killed by their masters tenants, those who were left in charge of his vineyard. Lastly, he sends his son to collect the profits owed to him. He took the risk of sending his own son because he believed that they would respect him and his authority. They kill him with no regrets. They dragged him through the vineyard and killed him. What will the owner do when he returns home? "He'll kill them—a rotten bunch, and good riddance," they answered. "Then he'll assign the vineyard to farmhands who will hand over the profits when it's time." esus said, "Right—and you can read it for yourselves in your Bibles:
The stone the masons threw out
is now the cornerstone.
This is God's work;
we rub our eyes, we can hardly believe it!
"This is the way it is with you. God's kingdom will be taken back from you and handed over to a people who will live out a kingdom life. Whoever stumbles on this Stone gets shattered; whoever the Stone falls on gets smashed." Jesus is this stone, this rock the Lord builds on. He is the son who is killed for our profits. Though he is thrown out by the masons he is the cornerstone. The religious leaders heard this parable and knew that they were the wicked farmers. They weren't told... they knew. Where are we sitting in the vineyard? Are we in the watchtower throwing stones or are we faithfully asking for the profits due to our master? Where do you want to be when the owner returns to the vineyard?

Random Thoughts

"Here it is again, The Great Reversal; many of the first ending up last, & the last first" (Msg)
I'm ok with this verse except when it is applied to the 1 or 2 people who have harmed me deeply. What if they spend eternity with the Lord, too? As a Christ follower, I should desire that they do. But as a person broken as a result of their acts, something inside of me screams "No!" Lord, help me to forgive them.
Psalm 25:11 "Keep up your reputation, God; forgive my bad life; It's been a very bad life." (Msg)
Psalm 25:15 "If I keep my eyes on God, I won't trip over my own feet." (Msg)
Keep me from tripping today, Lord. Help me to focus on you.

You have no idea how God works!

I read this in Matthew 16 a couple days ago. Context: Peter is trying to get Jesus to not go to Jerusalem where he was going to suffer and die. Jesus told Peter, "get out of my way" because "you have no idea how God works." Now those are strong words to someone who's openly opposing the injustice that awaits Jesus in Jerusalem. We're supposed to be passionate and brave when we fight injustice, right?

 Then Jesus goes on to say that if we intend to follow Him, we have to let Him lead (16:24). If I put these two things together, it says that there will certainly be times that the direction Jesus is going wouldn't be my first (or 14th) choice! I, like Peter, obviously have a lot to learn about how God works. And the way I learn about how God works is to keep letting Him lead and not "get in the way" of where He is taking me/us. Last Sunday at church, I knew God was asking me for a new level of trust, a mustard seed of faith, just to listen in this whole area of justice and be willing to follow. Is it vague? Yes. Do I see the "goal" of this passion for justice? No. Will I just faithfully and courageously follow where He leads?  I'm thinkin' about it......

This is your blog!!

I know how busy everyone is, but I'd love to hear some of your thoughts about what you are reading! I learn so much from you! Please, please, please - use this great tool that we have to communicate. It doesn't have to be much - just a sentence or two - just a word or two!
Remember - this is the Grace Community Blog! I started it, but it's not mine. It's our community's.
If you aren't on the author list but would like to be, send me an email at mamasherry@cableone.net and I'll send you an invitation.
I'm looking forward to seeing more posts!

By the way, if you have a favorite link or would have a suggestion for the "look" of the blog, let me know. There are thousands of options available to us. Thanks to Brent Hood for suggesting I list the weekly readings!

Invincible

"...what good thing must I do to get eternal life?...just do what He tells you..."
Once again I'm hearing "listen & obey". A theme for me? Or has it always been there & I've purposely blinded myself to it because of the (perceived) cost to me?
Actually God is showing me some amazing things as a result of listening & obeying. Worship is deeper (wasn't Sunday awesome??!!). I'm seeing God in areas I haven't before. I'm still a bit wary of the "obey" part, but I'm moving forward and trusting Him. I shared my story at Grace Groups this week. It's always a bit scary to put yourself out there but this was the first time I was really nervous ahead of time. I'm kind of an "out there" person - ask me about my life and I'll tell you, but this time was different. I was scared to talk about this part of my life, but I knew it was what God was telling me to do, so I listened and obeyed. And while telling my story was painful what happened after has been such a gift. Normally after sharing I feel "teller's remorse". I hear negative statements in my head "You shouldn't have said that" "You're so stupid", that kind of thing. Plus I feel bathed in shame. But I realized Wednesday morning that I didn't feel any of that. I was calm, my head was clear, and even though I didn't know what was coming next, God did (does). I just need to listen & obey.
So it was so affirming this morning to read Psalm 24: when I scale Mount God...God is at my side and with His help I make it. This is what happens to God-seekers, God-questers. NLT says God is "...strong & mighty; the Lord, invincible in battle."
Thank You, Lord, for your affirmation that you are walking with me through life as I strive to draw closer to You. Imprint Your presence in my mind and on my heart. Don't ever let me forget your strength and might!
I pray that you walk with our Invincible Lord today, leaning on His strength & might!
Live large!!

proverbs questions

Hey, all. I find Proverbs confusing. If God loves everybody, how come he's mocking the mockers and cursing the wicked? Can he do both?
Sussy

Foundations

Every day on my way to work, I drive past FRHS - West Campus. I always have to check out the Bed Tower construction - it's fun watching it go up! It's at the point now where I can see the progress, although it hasn't always been that way. When the construction began I remember feeling frustrated that I couldn't see what was going on because of the fence surrounding the site. It seemed like it took FOREVER to see any progress. That big ol' crane just seemed like a waste sitting out there - it didn't look like it was being used at all! Then one day I could see a lone steel girder (is that what they're called?) over the confines of the fence. Day by day there were more. Before I knew it there was a second floor! And a third! It's been exciting watching it grow. All of this went through my mind today as I drove past and it occurred to me that during that long period when it seemed nothing was happening, the contractors were working diligently to ensure the addition had a sturdy foundation. Even though I didn't see any progress, the workers were there, establishing the base for the rest of building.
Reading through the New Testament is doing that for me. I get impatient with my progress - not just in keeping up with the reading schedule, but also with my Spiritual progress - and I have to remind myself that even though it doesn't look like anything is getting done, God is in there working diligently to create a sturdy foundation for me. Just like the contractors on the Bed Addition, He knows that if I don't have that foundation everything else will just fall down around me.
There have been a few days this winter when I thought "surely no one is working there today!" I couldn't see anyone outside, but a glance at the lot where the workers park tells me that they are indeed there. Unseen by passersby, they are hard at work in the heated, lower portion of the building, doing what needs to be done.
This is such a great picture of what happens inside me during the "winters" of my life. I may think God has forgotten me in that cold, dreary place, but if I would just look around, He's there - hard at work warming my heart, doing what needs to be done to keep my foundation firm. I praise and thank you, Lord, for not forgetting your servant!

Wild Flowers

There was so much good stuff in what I read this morning, I've decided to split it into different postings.

Matthew 6:30 says, "If God pays such attention to the appearance of wild flowers - most of which are never seen - don't you think He'll attend to you, take pride in you, do His best for you?"

This is what I like about The Message - it brings in facets of the Scripture that I would never see on my own. And in this verse, the phrase "most of which are never seen" really struck a chord with me. Think about it. God created thousands of beautiful flowers that grow in the wild. His creation of them was/is perfect -they weren't just an after-thought. Yet, the majority of them grow, blossom, wither and die without having ever been seen by a human eye. Still, God created them to be beautiful, not just functional. This is how much attention he pays to the wild flowers.

This knowledge then forces me to look at the last part of Christ's question "...don't you think He'll attend to you..." To really look at it, I have to personalize it "...don't you think He'll attend to Sherry, take pride in Sherry, do His best for Sherry?" My immediate reaction to that question is, "Of course I believe that." But that's a trite response. Do I, truly, deep down at gut level believe that God will/does attend to me, take pride in me, do his best for me?" Do my actions each day - each moment - live out that kind of faith? These are hard quesions for me. It's difficult to be that honest - with God, with myself - with you. I think that more often than not, I don't trust Him. I don't ask Him for help. I have selective hearing when it comes to His counsel. So, once again I'm brought back to my lessen from the first days readings - listen and obey. That seems to be my theme for the year.

This really is exciting stuff for me! I know it may seem I'm being hard on myself, but I'm not. I know this is a learning process - one that will continue until...gosh. I don't know. Do you think we ever stop learning? What God is revealing to me is so precious!! And posting my thoughts helps cement these revelations, even more than just journaling does. So, thanks again, for walking through this with me. I really am looking forward to seeing more people post their thoughts!

The Lord's Prayer

Well, I'm still behind, but I don't want to go too fast and miss anything, so I'll try and be satisfied with the pace I'm at. I've decided to continue reading in The Message as it seems to stir something deep within me.

Have you ever read the Lord's Prayer in The Message? It's so beautiful. "Our Father in Heaven, reveal who you are. Set the world right. Do what's best - as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil. You're in charge! You can do anything you want! You're ablaze in beauty! Yes, yes, yes!"

I love that - "set the world right". "Keep us forgiven...and forgiving OTHERS." And I especially like the sentence "You're ablaze in beauty"! What a word picture that paints!!

The Sermon on the Mount

I just read the Beatitudes in The Message...what beautiful words. Just a few notes: vs 13 - "you're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors of the world." I like that - "God-colors" - & I'm part of it! vs 15: "Be generous with your lives: by opening up to others you'll prompt people to open up with God..." Sounds like Grace Groups. vs 22 "the simple moral fact is that words kill." Reminds me of Mary who said "Lord, put your arms around my shoulders and your hands over my mouth" - that, too, is my prayer. vs 43 "I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst...This is what God does. He gives His best - the sun to warm and the rain to nourish - to everyone, regardless; the good and the bad, the nice and the nasty." Thank you, Lord.

And my favorite: vs 47 "In a word, what I'm saying is, GROW UP. You're Kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

That is my prayer for all of us - to live out our God-created identity.

no longer will the poor be nameless...

I was just reading along, catching up, when this line in Psalm 9 (The Message version) made me literally stop breathing for a few seconds. "...No longer will the poor be nameless..."  My mind went to the story John told me of the Dalit woman at the registration desk when his medical team was in India. She was asked her name.......but.....she couldn't answer. If she had a name, she didn't know what it was. Her father called her, "girl" or something less appropriate. Her husband called her, "wife" or "woman" if he spoke to her at all. She did not have a name.......  She did not have a name! 

Then I remembered the stories of radiant joy on the faces of Dalit women who join a self-help group and go to the bank to establish an account. There they not only get an account, but an "identity card" that they proudly display. It says "I exist."  I AM a person, and I have a name.  Part of God's plan for justice is that EVERYONE has a name, a unique identity, a right to be recognized as a valued member of humanity.  I love our recent Sunday morning theme on living large and using our voice to speak up for those who not only have no voice, but have no name!

I'm still in catch-up mode...

I had hoped to get a little further in my reading yesterday, but only started one more day. I need to remember that it's not quantity, but quality that matters. What happens is I start reading and something hits me between the eyes and I stop to journal. And (as you've no doubt noticed from my first posting) when I write I tend to write A LOT!! LOL! But, it's all good - I'm excited to hear God speaking to me and that keeps me going.

By the way, it's very easy to post your own thoughts on here. Just send me an email (or call) and I'll send you an invitation. The email explains what to do from there. Once you get signed up, all you do is click on "new post" in the upper right hand corner of the page and away you go!!

Ok, so - on to what I'm hearing the Lord say...

I'm just at the verses that talk about Christ's temptation. He resists, not on His own, but because He has God's Word deep in His heart. He learned the stories as a young boy, He believed them and understood their meanings. And now, when He is tempted, when the battle rages, He falls upon those Words. Simply by speaking them, Satan is silenced. He cannot fight against such Truth.

I'm not very good at memorizing, but I remember one time when I was troubled - fighting temptation, completely overwhelmed with the situation. I sat at my desk, paralized with fear. I remember putting my head in my hands thinking "I can't do this. Lord, help me". And immediately I heard "I have not given you a spirit of fear". His Words had an instantaneous effect. The fear was gone and I was at peace. I was able to do what had to be done and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

God's Word is so powerful! Why then do I not learn it? Not just memorize it, but LEARN it, burn it deep within my soul that I might silence Satan when he pursues me? He could be stopped dead in his tracks. I have the most powerful weapon in the universe at my fingertips and I don't use it. Why? Selfish desire. The enemy has convinced me that my desires are better for me than God's. Even now, typing those words, knowing it's not true, there's a part of me that's screaming, "NO!!! DON'T LET GO!!! YOU DESERVE THOSE DESIRES!!! YOU NEED THOSE DESIRES!!! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT THOSE DESIRES!!!". But even louder than the screaming is the Holy Spirit, gently whispering, "I know your desires and I will give you what you need. Don't be afraid. Don't worry. I love you, I care for you. You were created for much greater things than what your tiny brain can come up with. Have faith. LIVE LARGE!"

Starting out...

OK, true confession time...I've never blogged before. Never have felt the need. But at Management Team last week, it was suggested that a Grace Community blog would be a great way to keep everyone connected (and accountable) this year while we read through the New Testament. After reading the first few days of readings, I really felt that I should take the plunge and start the Blog. So, since I'm trying to listen and obey (you'll understand after you read the posting below), here it is! I hope you all will join with me and share what you are learning and hearing as you read through the NT with me!!

I'm really excited about reading the New Testament this year (I'm only committing to that - if I read Psalms and Proverbs, that's a bonus for me). I've never read the NT from start to finish. Of course, I'm already behind. And I just got started yesterday, the 8th, but already God is revealing awesome things to me!

In the first verses what stood out was that everyone LISTENED and OBEYED. Mary listened to the angel and instead of panicking and saying "I can't do that" she obeyed. Joseph knew that his family would be ridiculed, but he, too, listened and obeyed. The wise men heard in a dream that they were not to return to Herod and they obeyed. God told Joseph to take his family and flee to Egypt and he obeyed.

This makes me wonder - how many times have I heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me and I knowingly didn't listen or obey? I feel very small, very lacking in faith. I'm asking God to increase my faith, to give me His courage, His strength to listen and obey when He speaks. To Live Large!!

I was getting a bit discouraged with day 2 and 3. Nothing was connecting with me. When that happens, sometimes I'll read a different version - this time I chose The Message and that did the trick. In The Message, verse 7 says the Pharisees and Sadducees were "showing up for a baptismal experience because it was becoming the popular thing to do..." John (who definitely Lived Large) angrily challenges them saying it's their lives that must be changed - that just being baptized won't work. Even being descendants of Abraham doesn't make them special. He tells them "...they are a dime a dozen. What counts is your life. Is it green and blossoming? Because if it's deadwood it goes on the fire." And in verses 11 and 12 when he speaks of Jesus "...the real action comes next. The main character in this drama...will ignite the kingdom life within you, fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out."

So many things run through my mind. How many times do I do something, buy something, watch something because it's the popular thing to do? Is my life green and blossoming? I don't want to be deadwood. I'm asking God to help me see life through His eyes. To help my life blossom with the truth of His love and who He is.

John's words about Jesus are powerful! Jesus is the "main character" in the drama...OUR drama...MY drama. Do I recognize him as the main character or have I relegated Him to "supporting actor" or "walk on character" only giving Him a role when it fits into MY storyline? Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me for forgetting that YOU are the most important person in my life.

This all brings me back to the lesson I gleaned from the first day's reading: listen and obey. If all I give in to are my own desires, of course I'm going to be the center of the story. I'm always going to be concentrating on me, me, me, looking for that next thing to make me happy (ah...the Pharisees and Saducees doing the next popular thing). If I don't listen and obey, I will never move from selfish pleasure (deadwood) to a life fulfilled - a life that is green and blossoming - a life Lived Large.